The first five weeks or the last nine years?

Five weeks ago I began to attend meetings of a Christian recovery group. Although I've been sober for nine years, and have attended more AA meetings than I can possibly count, I had been feeling for some time as if something was missing from my recovery. Nine years seems like a long time, but it truly is only one day at a time. My motivation for attending meetings had diminished, in part because my long time sponsor has moved to a nursing facility. Her Alzheimer's disease had progressed, and her son and daughter decided she'd be safer in a controlled environment. More about that wonderful woman another time, she's enriched my life, my recovery and my spirit immeasurably.

To be honest (and honesty is VERY important in recovery), the number of meetings I attended had been steadily declining since I picked up my five year coin. I wanted to give back, I was sponsoring other women, I believed deeply in the program, but something was missing. The fire was smouldering. Then the ashes were banked. Until I attended my first Christian recovery meeting five weeks ago.

I'm happy to say that I'm fully fired up about recovery once again. I think what was missing was the freedom to say what was in my heart...that Jesus Christ is my Higher Power, and that He is the one who liberated me from my alcoholic obsession and compulsion. At AA meetings it's not considered politically correct to testify about the healing power of Christ. Newly recovering alcoholics are nothing if not skittish, and they've often had bad experiences with organized religion. Rather than risk their lives by scaring them away from AA with impassioned pleas for their souls, we tell them they can use a doorknob for a Higher Power. I agree with that philosophy, but it became harder and harder for me to restrain myself from sharing the life-changing truth that the Gospel offers.

Hence, the blog. It's a place for me to chronicle this new, Christ-based recovery I'm experiencing. This time, I hope the fire keeps burning brightly.